In response to groundbreaking new research showing that a bit of beer can help improve your foreign language skills (hurra!), Duolingo is announcing a new venture: Brewolingo, featuring limited-release craft beer varieties designed to help language learners finally reach fluency.
“We’ve come to realize that lessons can only take you so far along the language-learning journey,” said Duolingo’s CEO and co-founder, Luis von Ahn. “True fluency comes from a mix of consistent studying, cultural immersion, and getting tipsy.”
Brewolingo offers three types of beer, with the Owlcohol™ By Volume (OBV) for each corresponding to different language fluency levels:
● India Pale Owl: Those looking for full bilingual proficiency should try this bitter IPO with a bold backbone.
● Night Owl Stout: Drink this, go to sleep and dream in Spanish. Ace that test tomorrow – without cheating for once, you fool. You now have fluid fluency.
● Spring Season-Owl: Forget the antihistamines. This fragrant bouquet of bubbles will ready your nasal vowels for the Frenchest of words. Fromage.
● Mad Amber Owl: Bitter with lots of body, “Mad Amber” is your ex-girlfriend. Now, if you curse her in another language, she’ll never know.
“You can’t learn a new language if you’re not OK with embarrassing yourself,” said von Ahn, pausing for a quick burp. “And nothing makes you OK with embarrassing yourself more than alcohol.”
Every beer is made with standard ingredients like grain, yeast, water and hops – as well as one other key ingredient: a special, secret blend of Owlgorithms™ personalized to each learner.
Malty McMalterson, who was recently promoted from Quality Assurance Tester to Quality Alcohol Taster at Duolingo, said between sips, “This beer really works gr… mira, el pato tiene un nuevo sombrero et j’aime les hommes calmes!”
Duolingo’s investors are also impressed with the new venture, especially as another monetization approach for the company. “In a time when every startup seems to be pivoting to cryptocurrency, it’s refreshing to see that Duolingo has pivoted to beer,” said Tim Hops of ABV Ventures. “I just hope they sober up before our next board meeting, which we’ve just determined will be conducted entirely in Finnish.”
The beers are available now for purchase at brewolingo.com for ages 21+. Disclaimer: Always drink responsibly. Don’t drink and drive or operate heavy machinery. Do drink and practice your Italian accent.
Terry Bunch
