Baerlic Brewing Company is announcing a Super Secret Beer Club! Details can be found here.
Baerlic Brewing Company is offering a monthly Super Secret Beta IPA Subscription Service starting a $120 for the first month, then $99 per month after.
When each iteration is hypothetically released, club members will have access to Super Secret online content specific to that batch as well as some other things we can’t tell you about (that is, if you can figure out the password riddle). Members choose either Prepay’N’Pickup or Home Delivery. Membership automatically renews each month and can be cancelled at any time, just email us.
But you wouldn’t know that, because the Super Secret Beer Club DOES. NOT. EXIST. Although, hypothetically, each month we could release a secret IPA using new or refined ingredients, processes or ideas in an ongoing effort to improve things around here.
So What’s In It For You, You Ask?
Beer, you silly goose.
Specifically, Super Secret IPA, our rotating Beta IPA series comprising of proprietary ingredients like hops and water. Each month you’ll get a case of it. Each Case will include (23) 16oz Cans —the 24th can will be a secret prize—of ‘never fresher’ Super Secret IPA.
Bragging Rights
This is a Limited and Super Secret club. And although you can’t tell your friends you’re a member—cause it’s a secret and secrets are forever—you’ll rest well at night knowing you’re part of a club that no one even knows about. That kind of anonymity can be freeing.
Monthly Secret Prize
Remember cereal box prizes? Maybe that glow in the dark pen that your brother stabbed you with? Or that half rubber ball thing that nearly took your cousin’s eye out? Well, do we have some prizes for you? …that was a question by the way,…do we have some prizes for you?
All this for only $99 per month. Smokin’ deal, right? What about the fine print*?
*The Super Secret Beer Club doesn’t actually exist.
Centuries of folklore, conspiracies and governmentally commissioned expeditions have never fully bestowed proof that such a club has ever existed. Thus, the truth has stayed nothing more than an illicit whisper lost to the perpetuity of time since it was first mentioned in that ancient book…or was it a tome…or a script…(hmm, memory does not serve us well after several beers). At any rate it was first mentioned on something really, really old in some language that doesn’t really exist anymore so the whole darn story started on pretty shaky ground, so who really knows if it’s real or not.
What we do know, is that if one were to spend enough time researching through the depths of the sub-sub-sub-sub-reddits of the darker web (that’s the web that’s darker than the regular dark one), one might find a glimmer of proof that this elusive club of denim vest enthusiasts doesn’t necessarily exist, but it also doesn’t necessarily NOT exist. And that’s enough proof for us!
Now we’re not the types of people to fall back on some ‘internet NON or NON-NON conspiracy’ but it does beg the question of what the hell a ‘Super Secret Beer Club’ would be if a ‘Super Secret Beer Club’ did actually exist. One could surmise (that means guess) that it’d definitely be secret, but just how secret remains just that, a secret. It does appear that it must have something to do with beer…that makes sense, right, it IS in the name.
If we were to really go out there on a limb we’d say that this is most likely a rotating ‘Beta’ IPA subscription club wherein each member would receive a predetermined amount of this beer on a regularly scheduled basis—our best guess points to a recurring monthly subscription of a case (or (24) 16oz cans) of R&D India Pale Ale for $99/month that puts our knowledge, experience and our relationship with our hop supplier to the ultimate test.
One caveat might be that when we say a monthly case of beer (or (24) 16oz cans), we might actually mean just under a case of beer—say (23) 16oz cans—with that remaining 16oz can actually being a prize (like cereal used to come with in the 80’s). Remember the excitement of tearing into that box of cereal only to dump it all out on the couch in search of that elusive cartoon character watch or comic book? Yeah, it’ll kind of be like that. There’ll also be some pretty secret batch-specific online content that will accompany each release that will only be accessible behind a password protected Super Secret Beer Club members-only area of this here website.
There’s your fine print, satisfied now?
Terry Bunch