After returning from his successful mission, my Ale-Driod* was able to intercept a new teleporter for me. This made my own mission of reconnaissance open up to so many new possibilities. There are a lot of places to investigate all over Earth but I decided to stay in the area of the United States of America, for now. After doing research, I found that the oldest brewery here was in a sector located in a north eastern zone designated: Pottsville, Pennsylvania. I set the coordinates and I was on my way to investigate D.G. Yuengling & Son.

I rematerialized right in front of the brewery. The brewery, and the buildings surrounding it, appeared to be quite old. Pottsville was not like most human zones I’ve visited. It seemed smaller in size and with less humans populating it. It didn’t make sense to me why they would build a brewery here in the first place. “In the early 1800’s coal was discovered in Pennsylvania,” reports 5th Generation owner Dick Yuengling, “and with coal comes steel. Back in those days, this area was growing and thriving which meant opportunity. Coal miners loved to drink beer so that’s why the brewery was built in Pottsville.”


And they weren’t the only humans with the same bright idea. Breweries such as Kaiers, Steakmires, Gibbons and Columbian all popped up around the same time. Unfortunately due to Prohibition, or “The Dark Ages of American Human History,” these breweries and more were all closed down by the 1950’s.

However, Yuengling would not except defeat and survived thanks to their ice cream factory and brewing of medical Porter. That’s right, the humans could still get a prescription for beer, keeping it from getting too barbaric. The humans in charge allowed people to get beer medically if they had the condition know as Anemia. Apparently, humans need iron in their blood and ones suffering from Anemia have a deficiency of it. The Porter brew was used as source of iron for those types of humans. Beer Aliens, of course, drink beer for medical reasons but we don’t need the iron for our blood, just the beer part.

Lucky for me, Yuengling has a Meeting Aliens Regarding Knowledge, Extraterrestrial Trade Interaction and Numbers Gathering Department, or “M.A.R.K.E.T.I.N.G. Department,” and sent someone to give me a private tour of the facility. Human Alyssa was very knowledgeable and knew exactly how to treat a Beer Alien.

Before the humans discovered simple refrigeration technology, the brewers at Yuengling aged their beer underground. Beneath the brewery holds a simple cave system that was used to age the beer naturally. It felt nice and chilly down there, a perfect environment for beer.

The first stop on the tour of the cave was the old racking room. Two men would operate a machine that would fill up barrels with beer. Even with just two humans working, they could fill up to 900 barrels a day. Next, she showed me a brick wall that was built, by the humans in charge, in the caves to slow down production of beer during prohibition. Half of the wall is still up today as a reminder of what Yuengling overcame.



After a brief tour of the caves, we came up out of the ground and into the modern part of the brewery. We walked past where the beer was brewing and where the hops were storing. I looked up and noticed a beautiful piece of colored glass above one of the tanks. “When they first built this part there was just a glass window,” explains Human Alyssa, “but the sun would reflect off of the kettle and blind the workers. The stained glass was put in so that the sunlight wouldn’t be so harsh on their eyes.”

In the same room, I also noticed paintings on the walls of female and male humans. The females did not seem happy. “The reason these women look upset,” discloses Human Alyssa, “is because they had to wash bottles all day for six cents a hour, while the men got to drink beer.” However, not all the murals depicted disgruntled workers. One of the walls had a man with a huge smile on his face holding a bottle of beer. “Yuengling’s Winner Beer was the beer sent to the President of the United States at 12:01 AM, on the day prohibition was over.” Sounds like a perfect name for the beer, that would feel like a win to me if beer was legalized again.


Before the beer can be bottled or caned, it runs through the Government Cellar. There is a ticker that counts every drop of beer that is made at Yuengling so that the humans in charge can tax them. If anything, the government should be paying Yuengling for brewing the beer in the first place.

NOTE: Humans do not have their priorities straight.

After the beer goes through the Government Cellar, it then is canned or bottled. Beer comes in and the machine will do 460 bottles a minute or 890 cans a minute. Just enough to keep up with any Beer Alien’s drinking ability.

The final part of my tour was in the old employee break room. At one point, all employees of the brewery could drink two beers a day. However, now they aren’t allowed to drink while they are at work. This was my favorite part of the tour because I got to taste all the beer Yuengling had to offer and it was delicious. My favorite was their classic Lager which tasted refreshing and could complement any human meal, including breakfast.


What Pottsville lacks in human population they make up for with rich history. In fact, plans are set in motion right now to turn the old ice cream factory into a museum. They have so many artifacts from being around for over 185 Earth years that they should be able fill it up no problem. Looking forward to going back when the museum is done, but for now, I will head south east. My beerometer is picking up a heavy craft beer signal from a zone designated: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.


*see full story in “The Adventures of Ale-Driod” coming soon

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